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Harlow is a fucking loser redneck from the swamps of Louisiana. He's probably the only loser that still rocks the Justin Bieber hair flip. He's always hopping from job to job and could be considered a deadbeat by many. His family pretty much rejects him and he holds no ties with them. To top it all off he has some odd, freaky internet-IRL relationship with some ugly terrorist named Jihad Jay. (See: "jaythenerdkid") They often meet in each other's home countries, with Harlow traveling to Iraq to meet Jay, because Jay is afraid to travel to America. Not to mention she's some dumbfuck Liberal feminist. When she's not in the kitchen she's bombinb innocent people. But, back to Harlow. He often acts as he's an intellectual only to resort to the ever so elitist "LOL", and tried to get OEP/speedfox to hang with him IRL, but he wouldn't.


Kilroy was here.


This is the story of Harlow's birth.

Silver was sitting on his bed browsing bungie.net when he heard a strange sound somewhere in the house. "Hello?" Silver squeaked, "Is somebody there?" Silver heard something fall, so he went to investigate. He walked down the hallway and he heard noises coming from the basement door. Silver opened it slowly and the noises stopped.

He was nervous and he called down into the darkness, "Hello? Who's there?" No answer. Silver turned on the basement lights and proceeded down the stairs cautiously. When he reached the bottom, he looked around, but he saw nothing. All of a sudden the door at the top of the stairs slammed shut. Silver spun around and he saw a big purple octopus at the top of the stairs.

Silver screamed like a little girl, but Ultros the octopus slithered down the stairs in an instant and stifled silver with his tentacles.

"Shhhhhhh, be quiet." the octopus said in a sly voice, "We don't want anybody to metal in our affairs."

Silver tried to struggle, but the tentacles were way too strong. "This has to be a dream" he thought to himself. But the tentacles felt too real, too cold, too slimy. Ultros looked at Silver with his big yellow eyes and said "You have such a cute body my boy. You will do."

Then Ultros slithered a tentacle up Silver's pants. Silver groaned, and tried to get away, but his efforts were fruitless. "Relax cutie," the octopus murmered,"no need to struggle and pant. Speaking of pants..." Ultros ripped Silver's tutu and panties off with one deft motion.

Silver could felt his 1.5 testicles and dick exposed to the cool basement air. He flinched when the octopus's tentacle stroked his sack.

"S-stop it..." silver groaned.

"No need to be so teste." Ultros teased. He continued to rub his tentacle against Silver's privates, a green goo secreted out of the end of the prehensile appendage and smeared all over Silver's skin.

"What are you doing do me?" Silver asked wearily.

"I am making a substance that will induce a state of euphoria. This will be our little secrete." said Ultros. "You are going to give birth to my offspring, but I'll make sure you enjoy it."


Silver moaned as the effects of Ultros' strange secretion took its effects. He began to desire the strange purple octopus, he wanted his tentacles inside of him. "oooooo" he squeaked.

"Somebody likes that doesn't he?" Ultros said.

Silver simply nodded, then Ultros tore the rest of his cloths off, revealing the rest of Silver's nude body. He grinned, and then immediately slide a pink throbbing tentacle up Silver's ass and Silver screamed and squirmed with both pain and delight.

"mmmph! Stop struggling, there is no reason to be so an@l about this." Ultros murmured, as his prehensile member slide further inside of Silver.

Silver moaned loudly, and Ultros grinned as he trashed about inside his tight -blam!-. Ultros climbed on top of Silver's head, positioning his an*s over Silver's mouth.

"lick me!" Ultros commanded.

Silver hesitated, but then did as he was told. His tongue slithered inside the octopus's -blam!- as the octopus slithered his tentacle inside his ass. Ultros groaned and his bungle rumbled around Silver's face. Silver began to moan louder, his erection throbbing and pulsing at the constant stimulation in his ass. Then Ultros groaned and shot fluid inside of silver. Then silver shot -blam!- all over the floor.

"Now wasn't that nice? We had our fight at first, but we got along and came together at the end." Ultros bragged.

Silver said nothing.

"What's the matter? Scat got your tongue?" Ultros asked with a grin.

Silver nodded slowly, not sure how he was feeling nor how he should react. He had just been raped by an octopus, the experience should have been traumatic, but now his mind was blank.

"I'm not done yet." Ultros said.

"W-What? No! Leave me alone!" Silver pleaded, but Ultros shut him up with a tentacle and said, "You can come out now Mizz Jay."

"You can come out now Miz Jay." Ultros said. Then Jay came out of the basement closet, she was wearing a fancy silk dress.

"I was wondering when it was going to be my turn Mister Octopus." Jay said slyly.

Silver was shocked, his Jaw dropped open. He couldn't believe the unfolding events taking place. First he was raped by a talking octopus, now the beautiful Jay is in his basement! He didn't know what to think. Did she know this strange creature?

"Jay? What is g-going on?" Silver asked.

Jay looked at silver and smiled. "Hon, Ultros is a very close friend. I am keeping a promise I made to him." she said.

"I am the last of my species." said the octopus, "You and Miss Jay are going to help me reproduce. She promised she would do anything for me after I saved her from being raped and eaten by an alligator." The creature slithered a tentacle around one of Jay's legs, stroking it lightly, and Jay cooed. "ooohh Ultros, your tentacles feel so good against my soft, sensitive flesh!"

Silver watched as Ultros continued to fondle Jay. This had to be some sort of strange nightmare. But it was too real to be a nightmare. Help Ultros reproduce? What did he mean by that?

"W-what do you mean help you reproduce? We are humans, we aren't compatible with octo.. URGH!!" Silver bowled over, a huge pain assaulted his insides, they felt like they were squirming. Ultros chuckled.

"I am no ordinary octopus. The chemicals I shot inside of you are rewriting your DNA. This is a life transforming event." said the sly octopus.

Jay placed a hand on Ultros' head and stroked it as they both watched Silver writhing on the ground. "Is he going to be ok?" Jay asked. "Don't worry my dear, it will be over soon." said Ultros. Silver's cries of pain began to die down. And soon, they stopped.

Silver got back up. He looked over his body, nothing seemed to be different, but he felt different. He looked at Jay, and he felt compelled to pounce on her. He felt savagedly horny, but he tried to control himself. Jay looked at his erection and her mouth dropped open. "My GOD! Your dong is huge Silver!" she exclaimed.

Silver looked back down at his -blam!-, and he was amazed to see that it did seem much bigger, possible 9 inches in length and throbbing. What did Ultros do to him? Ultros chuckled, "I guess it is true what they say, the pen*s mightier than the sword. Now go to him Jay. He wants you. Go to Long-Dong-Silver"

"But, how is this going to help you reproduce?" Jay asked. "His body has been rewritten to produce my seed and make it compatible with you." Ultros explained. "I don't understand.." Jay asked, but Ultros cut her off, "Don't doubt my inphallible logic. Now go."

Silver hungrily at Jay as she walked over to him seductively. She slowly took off her clothes and soon, she was standing there with only her bra and panties. She reached around and undid her bra, and it fell off. Her beautiful round breasts sprung out, her nipple complimented her well-toned flesh. Silver wanted her so bad now. Then Jay slid off her panties, her p*ssy glistened with desire.

Silver could take no more, and he pounced her.


Silver pounced Jay and knocked her over. He immediately spread her legs and thrust his throbbing -blam!- into her p*ssy. Her tight lips felt amazing around his enlargened shaft. He thrust into her and pulled out only to thrust into her again. "ooooo god silver!!! -blam!- me silly you beast!" Jay yelled as Silver humped her brains out. He looked down at her big, succulent titties and he tugged on her nipples with his teeth.

Ultros watched the couple fornicating on the basement floor. He slithered over and joined them, his tentacles slithering over Jay and Silver's bodies. One tentacle crept its way into Silver's -blam!-. His other tentacles curled around Jay's breasts an teased them. With his remaining tentacles, he slithers into her -blam!- with Silver's -blam!- and the other, into her ass.

Jay cried out with pain and pleasure and bucked into the air. This made Silver extra horny and he -blam!- the aussie female even harder. "Ohhh god... ohhh god!!!!" Jay cooed.

"In god we thrust." grunted Ultros, and he slid his tentacles further into their bodies. Silver and Jay cried out with pleasure. But when Silver screamed, tentacles shot out of his mouth. In the middle of the tentacles was a big pink throbbing tentacle. Silver would have been horrified, but he was in so much ecstasy.

Jay looked at the tentacle pen*s in Silver's mouth, and she instantly kissed him, taking the odd -blam!- down her throat. "Like my gift, boy?" Ultros asked. Silver only groaned, then he nodded. It was and odd sensation, he was aroused in the mouth and crotch at the same time. Jay's tongue did amazing things to his new p*nis.

Ultros wiggled his tentacles inside the odd couple, then the odd trio screamed together. Ultros' entire body shuddered, Jay's p*ssy pulsed and spilled -blam!- all over the floor, and Silver shot his load into Jay, his -blam!- overflowing her lips. His mouth -blam!- shot its loud down Jay's throat. Jay swallowed it all.

5 minutes later, they all settled down. "OH MY GOD!" Jay exclaimed! "That was amazing!" She took Silver in her arms and they kissed again,Silver's mouth -blam!- squirted a little bit more in her mouth. Silver thought to himself, "Maybe this wasn't so bad after all."

But then Jay backed off, and held her stomach. "oooooo......" she groaned. "I don't feel so good!" Silver's eyes widened with horror as he stared with disbelief. Jay's stomach was expanding, as if she were pregnant. Jay flopped on the ground and she spread her legs and screamed. Something poked out of her p*ssy, a silver tentacle. Then another tentacle poked out, followed by another.

A baby octopus crawled out of her. It was a silver octopus. Jay, Silver, and Ultros were its parents and they took care of it, raised it to be a fine young octopus. It was their son, and they named it Harlow.

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